I had a photoshoot at Veterans Memorial Park of Pensacola for a Gold Star Family Flag Dedication Saturday. In my mind I was supposed to be there at 10:45 am for an 11 am presentation.
I was an hour early.
I took the opportunity to take some pictures. As I walked the park I kept hearing what I thought was a seagull squalling. It was ridiculously loud. I didn’t have my 200-600mm lens on but I could tell it was struggling to fly into the wind. And it looked deformed but it was soooo far off I couldn’t make it out. After about ten or fifteen minutes of trying to ignore it, I decided to change out my lens to use the 600mm in hopes of seeing what was going on with this annoying creature. To my surprise, it was not a seagull at all . . . but an osprey, and it wasn’t deformed, it was carrying a fish! It was just so far off I couldn’t tell . . .
I grabbed a few shots but knowing it was a cloudy overcast day they probably wouldn’t turn out, and this osprey was so far off even using the 600mm the likeliness of the image turning out was slim . . . but I realize now I needed these blurry and grainy shots to have as a reminder that IF the birds of the air do not worry about what they will eat or drink, or wear or live, how much more valuable am I, one of His that He won’t provide for me.
And it shouldn’t surprise you to know that as soon as I got a couple shots, this creature flew away . . .
I’ve been walking through some challenges and changes that require me to be on the receiving end of some amazing ladies that are teaching my class while I take a few months off. Each lady teaches in their own style and each lady is gifted beyond what they can imagine.
I am so thankful for them and their willingness to carry this responsibility while I focus on my wellness.
Yesterday, our lesson was on the Crucifixion. It was amazing. Since we aren’t meeting next Sunday for small groups she wrapped up both lessons – powerful. It amazes me you can hear a “story” and read scriptures over and over and yet God still manages to teach us something new every time.
And that is what happened yesterday, but for me, it was the after the class lesson that hit me hardest.
The teacher says, “hey, I think I’m supposed to share this with you. The Lord had me camping on it in my preparation but when I got to it He had me skip over it . . . and now I sense I am to share it with you.”
She went on to point out the given, “We have the crucifixion and we have the resurrection of Christ in John 19:17 – John 20:23 . . . “.
Then she says something I never thought was a “big deal” before . . . or that it would have no personal meaning to me at least . . .
She said, “Sandwiched between all this goodness . . . Jesus is dying on the cross and He looks at his mother and looks at John, the disciple He loved, and says, “Woman, he is your son. And He said to His disciple (John), “She is your mother. And from then on this disciple took her into his home.”
And I gasped . . .
Jesus made sure, in the middle of all that was happening, that His mother was taken care of.
In the moment of her reading that I was immediately taken back to the osprey that had appeared, just the day before . . . the birds of the air do not worry about what they will eat or drink . . . so why should I?
If Jesus, knowing He was about to die took the time to make sure His mother was taken care of, then I can rest assured He knows exactly what I’m walking through right now and He will also take care of me.
I don’t need to question the “how am I going to do this”.
I don’t need to worry.
I don’t need to live in guilt or shame or embarrassment.
Last month I took a much needed seven day rest to take care of me. I struggle with self esteem and low self image daily, I find myself doubting the Lord can really use me and that I am making a difference, but He is working on that, diligently. In the silence of my retreat the Lord gave me the word warrior. And as much as I don’t like looking at myself in the mirror, I not only tell myself (almost daily), and I say it to myself face to face in the mirror . . . “I. Am. A. Warrior”.
He is teaching me to trust Him more and worry less. And that is hard for a person with anxiety. I don’t want to be a worrier. I can care about myself and others better by being a warrior than a worrier.
If you are out there silently struggling, worrying about the what if’s and how to’s . . . I just need to remind you what He showed me . . . and He’s got you, too.
Matthew 6:26-27, Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
John 19: 25 – 27, Standing near the cross were Jesus’ mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary (the wife of Clopas), and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw His mother standing there beside the disciple He loved, He said to her, “Woman, he is your son.” And He said to this disciple, “She is your mother.” And from then on this disciple took her into his home.”