I missed yesterday’s Oswald Chambers devotional.
In fact, I missed my entire quiet time yesterday.
I don’t always go back and see what I missed in my Oswald devotional if I miss it – I just take it that the Lord intended my time to be different with Him that day.
But today . . . I sensed a strong pull to dig into yesterday’s word from Oswald.
I have learned over the years that when life happens and I miss my “normal” (I use that lightly) quiet time, I just have my time with the Lord in other ways . . . play the scripture on my app, choose a playlist of worship songs, or if possible just being still in the Lord’s presence – especially in nature.
So this morning, I opened my book to yesterday’s date. Had my copy of scripture and pen ready to dive in to see where He was taking me this morning . . . but as soon as I saw the title I knew . . . He was setting a divine appointment to build on what was already taught in small group and preached on yesterday – in fact not only was it preached on yesterday morning, but Shaun honed in on it again last night – AND THEN the same reference of John 13:2-15 was also in a friends post from Charles Stanley THIS MORNING!
I had to surrender the fact yesterday’s lesson and sermons weren’t just to pat me on the back and utter “well done” for my service but to usher me in to serve deeper . . . more intimately, intently, and intentionally.
And knots filled my stomach.
I have suspected . . . okay I’ve IGNORED the whisper of the Father in an area of service I suspected He was calling me to do. But I allowed previous defeat to keep me away. “Surely God is mistaken. He wouldn’t want me to fail at that AGAIN. He wouldn’t want me to disappoint another – AGAIN. He must be mistaken. I’m just gonna keep sweeping that thought under the rug and cast it into the deep ocean where it can stay!”
But after today’s quiet time and reflecting on yesterday’s sermons it has reared its ugly gear – again.
Ugh. So why now?
I don’t know . . . but what I do know is anytime a person tells the Lord, “I won’t be doing that again” He has a way of taking you down a few notches.
And today He has taken me behind the woodshed and filled me with humble pie.
He truly wants our inabilities not our abilities y’all.
He wants our failures, faults, and fears for when we are completely weak and dependent on Him . . . then . . . and only then . . . can He work in us and through us and for His glory and not our own.
But Jesus said to me, “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness.” Therefore (because He is sufficient- enough)I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
Father, take my faults, failures, and fears . . . mold them into what you choose for them to be used for and for Your glory. Amen.