I Get On My Knees

We have had some tough days over the last few months. The emotions and rages that run through a little boy that can’t comprehend his responsibility and his part in consequences often leave me banging my head against the wall in disbelief.

When change in plans push him over the edge and the screaming commences.

When he’s been days without sleep and the emotions take over –

When rules are broken and consequences take place – it’s exhausting.

Then there are days like today – he fidgeted and scooted all over the pew in church today. Whaling his arms and even smacking me a few times (by accident, of course), and then he continues to kick the pew in front of us while fidgeting which disturbs the couple in front of us. Over and over and over again. In these moments I feel as a failure. I recount all the things I could or should have done differently and question everything. When I think I’ve failed miserably and am aggravated and more concerned for those around me being disturbed than what’s realty going on with my son, something happens that slaps me back in to reality.

The boy on the left is my Christopher. He asked if he could go to the altar to pray this morning. After several moments his friend Josiah went to join him at the altar. Neither Christopher or Josiah see their disabilities. They just see each other.

And it’s beautiful.

My son still won’t share with me what he is struggling with but it seems to me he is doing what needs to be done first and foremost –

Please keep him in your prayers as he comes to mind. He’s had some major medication changes over the last few months and he is working through some personal challenges.

Thank you –

I Get On My Knees

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