This is me.
All of me.
And Satan does not want me to share it.
He desires for me to be ashamed of my physical appearance.
He desires for me to hide.
He desires for me to be in bondage.
So for that reason, in order to put him back in check, in order to feel no shame – in order to chisel away one more link of that chain – that bondage – that has held me captive for so long – in order to be one step closer in this self worth journey – I share my story.
I have had many people ask me if I really colored my hair, changed make up, and went to a class on etiquette before the conference. I did not go through with any of them. I couldn’t. I knew the Lord was telling me not to.
I knew the Lord was telling me to go and just be me.
Who He made me to be.
With no shame.
Usually I have no problem speaking in public. It’s a gift God has given me. I can’t explain it. You would think a woman who gets lost on the pages of words and stutters in her reading would not be able to speak well- but God. He has used my physical body to lead devotionals, speak in small groups, speak individually, and to lead studies. But I could not shake the anxiety for this one. I couldn’t understand why I was so distraught over this particular session. I couldn’t make sense of it, until this morning . . . now, I totally get it.
I went exactly who I was in raw form.
I didn’t put on a false image of who I was.
I didn’t wear a mask.
I didn’t pretend to be someone I wasn’t.
And my Lord gets the glory in my story . . . through “His-story”
So this morning, I share my video.
Someone out there needs to know the redeeming power in Him.
Someone needs to know Jesus loves them EXACTLY where they are and how they look.
Someone needs to know there is nothing they can’t do that can’t be forgiven.
Someone needs to know they were loved so much He died for them.
Someone needs to know restoration can be made.
Someone needs to be free.
Someone needs to know they are valuable and worthy to our Lord.
Someone needs to know about a four letter word called Hope.
So for you, and for you alone – I expose my heart – I make myself vulnerable to criticism. For you.
If it’s you . . . I love you. And I’m praying for you.