I’ve been awake since 3:30 this morning. After tossing and turning I knew I was to get up and take advantage of the quiet before everyone else was up. I started reading and put the cd in on the Goliath study I’ve slowly been working through. Shortly after putting the disc in and reading while the disc was loading I was faced with one interruption after another. I became frustrated. Then – halfway through the DVD session it stops playing. The laptop shuts off completely. I then became irate. Ugly. Nasty. I start yelling at the Lord (in my thoughts), “LORD!!I AM TRYING TO DO WHAT I BELIEVE IN MY HEART YOU WANT ME TO DO AND ALL THIS OPPOSITION IS COMING AGAINST ME!”
Sweetly He whispers, “Exactly why Satan is trying to distract you.”
This morning I listened to a study online where the speaker referred regularly to taking our walk deeper – it was not a coincidence. I have been more intentional with my time with the Lord as I have sensed Him tell me – go deeper.
More sweet words of truth to tell me I am on the right path and hearing correctly.
My last study Bible was destroyed by dogs years ago. I’ve used other Bibles since then but never replaced the study Bible. In my aging, my eyes have become less clear – even with glasses I have struggled to read to print in my copy of scriptures. I began searching a few months ago for a copy of scripture with large print that included references, commentaries, and topical searches. I pouted because what I wanted wasn’t available in large print but I knew I had to have that larger print so I put off the purchase. Still then Lord continued to tell me to go deeper – that desire for a study Bible grew more and more.
Saturday I returned from my dad’s and continued to research different study Bibles online – hoping I had just missed the one I wanted. Nope. Nothing except the John MacArthur Study Bible was available is NASB in large print. Reluctantly, I ordered it and have second guessed myself ever since. Even as the UPS driver delivered it just moments ago I was planning on returning it. I opened the box to examine the Bible and something hit my foot.
I can imagine my Lord smiling and saying, “dig deeper.”
And my heart is at peace.