By now almost everyone with any social media connection has heard of the abuse encountered by the then fiance of Ray Rice.

I’m not here to justify what he did, by no means, and I’m not here to question her decision to stay . . . more-less marry the man that psychically hurt her, but to bring a new perspective to the horrible comments being made.

This is what I know:

1. Good can come from this. While I understand this video was just released, the event happened months ago. A lot could have changed in these many months. Hopefully there has been counseling and some anger management help since this occurred. With that said, there are still consequences to our actions.

2. Women of all walks of life are abused every second of the day. In 2012, Domestic violence hotlines are a lifeline for victims in danger, providing support, information, safety planning, and resources. In the 24-hour survey period, local and state hotlines answered
20,119 calls and the National Domestic Violence Hotline answered 702 calls, averaging more than 14 hotline calls every minute. (

3. I have been punched in the face. Filed charges. Picked him up in jail the next day. Don’t judge if you haven’t walked through it. In my personal case, it wasn’t love but stupidity. It is a self-worth issue.

4. If you are being abused, and abuse comes in many fashions . . . you don’t have to stay. There is help available. I don’t care where you are, if you are being hurt, I will help you find a way out. I will love on you, pray for you, and help find resources to help you and keep you safe.

5. Abuse is not the unforgivable sin. I am NOT saying it is okay, I am saying it is forgivable. I have seen the hand of God change men and women and restore marriages. If God restores, praise Him!

6. Women are also abusers.