A "Not-So-New" Journey

The timing of this post was impeccable.  It’s been twelve years since I was in this particular place, but I too, am in a U-Turn.

Christopher is now in therapy 10 hours a week and during the school year he is in PATS every Friday from 8 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.

That is more time alone than I have had in years.

With the transition of his schedule, I began praying, asking the Lord what he wanted me to do with this time of availability.

Selfishly, I wanted a part time job to help with our finances.  The day to day struggles are more than I can process at times.  I just had no peace about that decision.

So . . . . . I continued to pray.

Privately.

Over and over “going back to school” came back to my mind.

Literally.  OVER AND OVER AND OVER, to the point I thought I was going to be sick if I didn’t at least make a call about my status at PSC.

(I previously attended is 2001, but dropped out when I was offered a full time job at my church with full medical and dental benefits.  As a single mom, it was a chance of a lifetime, but it still had consequences.  I left and was placed on financial aid warning.)

Nonetheless, I applied for a FAFSA grant.

Contacted the school to see what my standing was.

My heart sank when I was told I was in bad standing.

I met with a class adviser as well as with a financial adviser.

Wrote a letter of appeal.

And waited.

Strangely, the wait didn’t take 10 to 14 business days as it usually takes.  Within 48 hours I received word I could attend school THIS TERM for a trial basis, with limits being placed on the number of credits I could take.

Since the term had already started, I was advised to start October 15, the D session.

I registered with a dual degree status to receive an AA in Journalism and an AS in Photography.

What a combination, but I knew beyond a shadow of doubt that is what the Lord was directing me to do.

I love writing and photography brings such joy to my life.

After checking to see if any of the classes I took prior could be applied to either degree, we (Chris and I) had complete peace about me starting with the Photography AS degree.

Unfortunately, my financial adviser informed me, after the fact, the expenses that come along with that degree are very high.

I let fear lead the next decision and switched to the Journalism degree immediately.

But God had his way.

When I switched to Journalism, my appeal became null and void.

There are several hands involved in the process of registering for college.  Sadly, none of them communicate with one another, making it very frustrating for the student.

Regardless, the degree was switched, again, back to photography.

Appeal left in place.

Everything went through with really very little effort.  Doors that appeared to be shut were opened for me.  I couldn’t figure it out, and still am baffled by this experience.

My only hope . . . . . believing and knowing the Lord will provide for the expenses required above and beyond for the basic courses and books for Photography.

I have been hesitant in sharing this information publicly because there are so many critics, and the last thing I needed was more criticism.

I have spent most of my Christian walk giving and giving and giving to others.  In the last year I have completely stopped serving.  I have nothing left to give.  Was I serving in my own strength?  Maybe.  Maybe not.  Maybe it’s just been time to rest. What I do know is it is time to do for me to learn and go into the direction the Lord is leading.

What’s so crazy . . . . .is if I completely bomb and fail.  I’m OK with that  (I don’t think that will happen though.).

There is no doubt I am supposed to walk through these doors, so please . . .. please . . . . instead of asking, “How is she going to juggle this on top of everything else she has?” please pray and ask the Lord to guide my steps, to honor my heart, to bless my obedience, give me clarity and help with studying, directions on time management, for him to provide for the expenses involved, and peace of mind.

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