I enjoyed Sarah Youngs, “Jesus Calling” devotional so much last year, that I decided instead of getting a different one, I would re-read the one I had.
Last years highlights, while great, spoke nothing to my heart this year; but other words penetrated deep. So deep, I sensed I was to share it with you.
I pray these words touch your heart and bring comfort to your soul, as they have mine. (The words in bold specifically spoke to my heart.)
KEEP WALKING with Me along the path I have chosen for you. Your desire to live close to Me is a delight to My heart. I could instantly grant you the spiritual riches you desire, but that is not My way for you. Together we will forge a pathway up to the high mountain. The journey is arduous at times, and you are weak. Someday you will dance light footed on the high peaks; but for now, your walk is often plodding and heavy. All I require of you is to take the next step, clinging to My hand for strength and direction. Though the path is difficult and the scenery dull at the moment, there are sparkling surprises just around the bend. Stay on the path I have selected for you. It is truly the path of Life.
Psalm 37: 23-24, “If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand.“
Psalm 16:11, “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
I stumbled this week.
Raising two special needs children, medication changes, melt downs, husband’s work and school schedule, one car and he has it to save gas trips leaves me “stuck” day after day, taking care of sick puppies (and well), not to mention juggling all the bills to avoid disconnects and managing the rest of the house . . . . . and then throw in a car break down at Wal-Mart at 5:30 p.m in the heat of the day, and I lost it.
I was ready to quit. Not give up on God; but I didn’t think “life” was worth “doing good” and making the right choices, just to have to keep dealing with one trial after another, after another, after another.
I wanted a drink so bad, just to escape the reality of it all.
Yes, I know, the reality would have still been there when the “drunkenness was over,” you don’t have to tell me that, I lived it for too many years. I’m just saying where I was at the moment.
I also begged for death. “Let someone else ‘deal’ and have a life like this, I don’t want it. You picked the wrong gal to carry this load, God. I am just not strong enough.” (Yes, that’s what I said.)
Nonetheless, God didn’t take me home.
I didn’t drink.
And I still woke the next day.
Chris got up and rode the bus to work/class and life continued.
Since then, the Lord has continued to be faithful with two friends calling to encourage a weary heart; a blessing of help with some major bills and a blessing of $50 which helped cover some of the cost of the car repairs.
2 Timothy 2:13, says it best, ” If we are faithless, He will remain faithful, for He cannot disown Himself.”
He is faithful my friend. He is faithful. Oh to have a heart that never doubts, never waivers and is always steadfast!
This song has been continual on my mind: I’m Trading My Sorrows!
Thanks for stopping by this week.
My daughter, son-in-law, and his family will be here week after next. Please be praying for their travel safety! I can’t wait to see them and meet the new members of our family!