I am in awe this very moment.

After days of my journaling/prayers being of desperation for weeks, I woke up Monday the 26th with a sense of “OKness”  (I know that’s not a word, but it wasn’t a sense of peace, nor a sense of desperation, just, “OKness.”  

My journal entry for the 26th reads:

“My trust is in You and You alone.  Your timing is impeccable and I know you have a plan.  Reveal Yourself please.  Make a way.  Turn the valley and rough terrain into a smooth plain; the mountains and trenches as well.”  Strengthen us to endure.  Go before the calls I have to make this morning and the ones receiving today.  Empower me.  I love and trust you.  Amen.”

Several scriptures came into perfect play with my journaling from my Jesus Calling devotional as well:

Lamentations 3:24-26, “I say to myself, ‘the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.’  the Lord is good to these whose hope is in Him to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.”

Isaiah 40:31, “but those who hope int he Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”

Psalm 16:11, “You have made known to me the path of life; You fill me with joy in Your presence with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”

We have been memorizing Isaiah 40:3-5 at church.  Well, I have been TRYING to memorize it. I stink at memorizing; so for weeks I have been trying to turn it in understanding and life application; to be able to put it in to practice.  I even tried to turn it into a prayer for my life; but it wasn’t until that morning on the 26th, that it came to me (it is part of the prayer above).  

The scripture reads:

Isaiah 40:3-5 reads,  A voice is calling, “Clear the way for the Lord in the wilderness; Make smooth in the desert a highway for our God.”  Let every valley be lifted up, and every mountain and hill be made low; and let the rough ground become a plain, and the rugged terrain a broad valley; Then the glory of the Lord will be revealed, and all flesh will see it together; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken.”

I haven’t been able to clean houses regularly for months now.  Having two special needs children with doctor appointments, homeschooling Christopher, therapy, evaluations, melt downs, my husband’s schooling . . . you get the point; I needed to be home.  I sensed the Lord telling me to let the cleanings go because I wasn’t able to do them regularly anyway, so stepped out in faith, trusting He knew better.

After stepping out in faith a few months ago, (in the area of cutting back), I received a phone call from a friend that needed some help cleaning, just a one time thing, but if I had time.  I graciously accepted and whens he asked me how much she owed me, I told her, “Whatever the Lord has put on your heart.”  I was given a gift of $200 that day!  BUT, what is more amazing than that, is when I got home from cleaning, I received notification that our food stamps had been cut by exactly $200!   It was a joyous moment for me to call her and thank you; to let her know she met a need that no one (even myself) knew needed to be met; and it also confirmed to her that she indeed was hearing from the Lord.

We have lived each day of our lives, over the last eighteen months, day to day.  We have lived 100% off the of the balance of the pell grants from Chris’ schooling. 

God has provided.

The morning of the 26th, after journaling, I receive a phone call from someone.  She wanted to know if I was still cleaning.  I explained to her that I was not able to do weekly or “regularly” scheduled cleanings anymore, but if she needed me to help her for a one time cleaning, I would gladly do so.  After talking a bit I felt led to share my prayer journal from that morning, explaining how the power bill is due for disconnect, the water bill also, the mortgage is due next week that we don’t have and property taxes were due in November and are still not paid; but that this morning, I just knew it was going to be, “OK.”    She then told me she knew the Lord had put me on her heart about the cleaning, so she called to see if I could do a one time cleaning for her next week.  (I was covered in chills.)

Later that morning, after trying for 34 minutes to get through to an agency that assist with power bills; the phone rang.  If you have never had to humiliate yourself and ask an agency for help, then you don’t that every one and their brother is calling also and it is nearly impossible to get through.  Calls for this particular agency are only taken once a month and from 10:15 to 11:30.  I started calling at 10:16 and at 10:50; just after popping a Nilla Wafer in my mouth . . . the phone rang!  I had gotten through.  I go Wednesday morning to see if they will assist us with the power bill.  

I also received a phone call from a local agency that is going to hopefully help us with that water bill that is due for disconnect.  She was not very nice; but I am praying for a better meeting one one one.  I realize many, many people that go through these agencies are out for whatever they can get and often lie and cheat to get what they want; but I do not believe every person that walks in or calls these agencies should be treated like a criminal or liar.  She basically accused me of lying to her when I told her we have been living off the pell grants.  She also said she would not accept the paperwork from PJC.  After pleading with her (more like grobbling), reminding her that PJC is an accredited college and that the facts are printable in black and white ink, would she even consider seeing me.  I go in to meet with her on Monday morning, so please pray for that meeting.  

During one of the conversations with a friend this week, I told her we haven’t had air or heat since September of last year.  We actually thought the unit was zonked.  We had it worked on a couple times; but found out after a friend looked at it that what he said was done, was not done.  The breaker kept tripping when we would use the air and the outside unit quit running also; (the guy did repair the outside unit so it wasn’t a total rip off 🙂  still our power bills were running $450 – $475 a month!  We found out later the duct system in trashed so we have been heating and cooling the attic all this time.  With no way to continue paying that kind of power bill, and repairing the duct system is out of the question for now, we made the decision to cut it off.  The kids received electric blankets for Christmas and stayed comfy in their beds on cold nights.  We ran electric heaters on the few cold mornings we had and survived just fine.   A friend let us borrow a couple fans to place in windows to help with circulation in the warmer days we are having.  BUT THEN, I got a call this morning that changed that!  We have an A/C unit that is brand new!  The way the lay out is in this house, it will take 7 of them to cool the entire house; BUT, we have one to put in the living for those scorching dog days of summer!  Isn’t that just like God?!  Wasn’t even on the radar and WHAM!  Blessing!

Today, I also received a call from a friend; she said, “There has been a gift dropped off for you and you need to come get it.”  Me . . . . . “????”  After talking with my friend, the anonymous person that dropped it off said there are no stipulations on how it is to be spent, as she knows there are many needs for our family right now, but that she did read my blog post about how Young Living Oils are changing my sons, and our family’s lives, and she wanted to meet the needs for the oils.  WOW!  We had just emptied a second bottle that was used three times daily; and God provided!  

Then just moments ago, I received a message from a friend that needs some yard work done and wanted to know if Chris is willing to help with that.  When I asked him, he said, “Tell her YEEEES!”  

These odd jobs don’t come along very often, and with our children’s appointments, melt downs, therapy appointments, speech appointments, my  husband’s school schedule and who knows what else, even when they do get scheduled, they often get changed or sometimes even cancelled.

BUT, I say all this, to share my thankful heart this evening.  

I recently found myself putting my faith in that pell grant that was coming . . . . . “if we could just get that pell grant we would be OK.”  Or, “I need to get my taxes done so we can live on that . . . ”  Well, guess what, Chris’ books cost so much we received very little this go round and we are not receiving a dime on our taxes; I even had to pay $56 to file them but because my AVON had a loss and there was no earned income at all, we are getting -0- dollars this ear!  Even typing this I have to laugh!

Yeah, I’d say I was definitely beginning to put my “faith” in things and my own solutions instead of believing the Lord was going to take those “mountains, valleys and trenches and turn them into plains.”

Eighteen times we are told in Psalm 145 to speak out, testify, declare, call out and speak of the Lord’s provisions.  I hope and pray He will always get the glory in our family’s life; in my life.

Thank you, Lord for your provisions.  I praise Your name.  I bless Your name.  Amen.