Let The Healing Begin . . . .

A friend posted this photo on fb this morning; it has had me reflecting on many “things.”

One thing I have learned through the last few years is our (my) riches are NOT what is in the bank; or the car(s) that we drive; the houses we live in; the clothes and shoes (or the brands) we wear; or the certain type phone we JUST HAVE TO HAVE; and God forbid we miss our pedicure appointment . . . .

I’m not saying IF you have these things you (or I) are/am bad, I’m saying these THINGS do not define me; BUT what does define me, is WHOSE I am.

I have struggled with self worth because I couldn’t do financially or give in abundance as others can.  I found myself asking the Lord, “Lord, what good am I to a church with a measly $4.50 tithe?!” 

I have also lived so many years of my life coveting what others have and struggling with jealousy.  BUT God has brought me through it; to a place that is pretty dang awesome.  “Getting it” is an honor; to know the Lord took the time (and AGAIN . . . it’s been years!) to bring me through heart ache, pain, disappointment, anger, jealousy an envy . . . . to be “OK.” 

For several years the Lord kept giving me the scripture found in Acts 3:6; and two weeks ago, He hounded it on me so hard that”I FINALLY got it!”

It reads, “But Peter said, “I do not possess silver and gold, but what I do have I give to you: In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene– walk!”

What God has given me is more than silver and gold (BUT, obedience comes with every level of income . . . . the Bible doesn’t say, “IF you make less than this amount, then you don’t have to give . . . nope; not in there!).

For me, though, my faith has also become a faith that comes with “picking up your (my) mat and walk (in service)!  

John 5:8 says, Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”   If the lame man had never picked up his mat, and walked, He would have never known Jesus had healed him!

I am truly a blessed woman.

God is moving in our family.  It’s scary (if I am to be real) of the unknown; but it is awe-inspiring to see it being revealed.

The Lord gave me a visual, using MY CAT this past week!  He’s been angry for two years at us for bringing in another cat.  (This is the one that was so sick we thought he was dying.)  He has had nothing to do with ANY of us for literally two years.  If we picked  him up, he would growl, claw and hiss to get away from us.  He attacked the other cats as well.  He was just an out-right bully.  However, out of the clear blue, three days ago, he started jumping in my lap and loving on me.  We were ALL shocked!  I said to him, “It’s about time bandit.  You’ve had this entire house in an uproar for two years cause you got mad.”

The Lord then spoke to my heart and said, “It’s about time, Stacey, you’ve been angry and refusing to forgive for going on THREE years now.  You’ve had this entire house in an uproar because you refuse to forgive.”

Maybe I need to say that again, “It’s about time, Stacey, you’ve been angry and refusing to forgive for going on THREE years now.  You’ve had this entire house in an uproar because you refuse to forgive.”

How could I argue with that.  I couldn’t.  No more trying to justify and pass blame, no more regrets, no more praying the Lord would “get me out of this,”

No more. 

It’s time.

The next morning, as the cat the Lord used to speak words of life to me jumped in my lap, the Lord told me to pray for my marriage.  Period.  Pray for your marriage.  Don’t ask for a way out, don’t be angry, stop casting blame, just pray.

In that moment, I took a deep breath and wrote, “Lord I pray for my marriage.”

I didn’t know what else to pray, so left it at that. 

As I reflected through the last few months of journaling, the Lord showed me how my prayer/journaling time is always for others, for other ministries, families or my kids; but never for my husband or our marriage, never for my heart to heal and begin to move on.  In fact, it was more often that my prayers for our marriage was in bitterness and anger.

In just the last few days, God has begun a work.  “Lord heal my marriage and heal my heart, and let it be OK,” has become a daily prayer of mine.

Folks, I couldn’t do it.  In fact, I refused to do it.  I wasn’t going to budge and that was it.  I tried to justify my anger by saying, “I didn’t do anything wrong.”  As I type this my heart is filled with tears of awe-ness, that while I didn’t know how to forgive; and honestly didn’t want it, God did (and does) want me to; and He used a mean, ole’ ornery cat to do it.  While I have many “things” to work through, it is a process; and I know with Him in charge of the process, everything is going to be OK.

Well, I didn’t intend on getting into all that today.  I knew the Lord was prompting me to write about it.  In my prayer time (just this morning), I wrote, “Lord, when You are ready for me to share, give me the words.” I guess He was ready for me to share cause none of THAT had anything to do with what the image above did to my heart!

Thanks for stopping by my blog today.

The Lord has been speaking to my heart for months now about some changes that are coming.  I don’t think He would have taken us to the next phase of service if my heart wasn’t right. 

With that, I ask you to please continue to pray for our family and the changes that are coming.

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

Psalm 147:3, “He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.”

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