Withdrawals

Well it has been three weeks today since my surgery. 

During these three weeks I have eaten and craved and given in to those cravings.  I have stayed tired and literally forced myself to get out of bed each day; doing only the bare minimum.  I am thankful for my husband.  I haven’t had to do one load of laundry, prepare a single meal or wash a single dish since my surgery.  Even now he is folding laundry and piddling in the kitchen.

One thing I learned through The Most Excellent Way Ministry is when one relapses, getting clean that second or third or fourth time is harder than the first time. 

While I was fortunate to never have to deal with relapse with the drugs and alcohol, food has definitely taken its toll.

For days I have been trying to “get back on track” and for days I have failed.  I have had cravings I can’t explain . . . Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Sweet Tea, Fried Chicken, Goldfish (I hate goldfish!),  chocolate cake, Popeye’s Spicy Chicken . . . . need I go on?  It has been crazy. 

In my prayer journal, yesterday, I wrote, ” . . . . . . Lord, Give me the desire and will power back; give me the desire to be well and healthy.”

As if He was right there with me, He said, “Stacey, obedience is doing when you don’t have the desire.”

So today, even though my heart just isn’t in it, I choose obedience.

My cravings are high and my head is killing me.  I am sure I am having withdrawals from sugar.

Thanks for all the prayers from surgery.  Been recuperating just fine. Stitches are out and I am not using the sling anymore.  Still having pain, but doc says it should go away in about three more weeks.

My husband and I have some tough choices to make regarding our home.  In my recent prayer journaling, I wrote:

“. . . . . . Thank you for meeting the needs we have.  Continue to show yourself I pray.  Show us what to do with the house.  The worry is exhausting; not having a plan leaves a knot in my throat.  I don’t want to NOT be proactive with a plan, but I don’t want my planning to step in the way of your plan.  Does that even make sense, Lord?  I will do whatever it is you want, I just need to hear from you.  I love you; I trust you.  Amen.

This is the feather the Lord gave me, just yesterday while at the beach.  It came in a form I would have never even thought of.

Imagine the thousands of people that have walked the boardwalk in the last three days and the Lord brought this man there the exact time I was there to give me this 🙂  Pretty cool if you ask me.

Please do continue to pray for us.  The Lord has been faithful in providing, we just need clarity.

Continuing to Walk in Victory,

Stacey

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