My morning was horrible, filled with anger, anxiety and lots of tears.  Emotions were running high as I was focusing on the world’s standards and not the Lords.

For some, living out their faith comes easy, but for me, living out my faith is a daily choice, just like choosing to not drink when life gets “too hard.”  I don’t ever want to take my walk with the Lord for granted, so I am thankful He keeps me on a short leash, so to speak!
I have been reading Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young, for several months now.
My mornings starts with my cup of java and my .20 spiral notebook.  When I started journaling again (on May 23rd), the Lord impressed it upon my heart to journal first thing, then to read my morning devotionals and scriptures.  Never thought anything about it until my heart started changing.  When I first started journaling again it was because I was told I had to.  Ticked me off quite frankly cause I did not want to.  I could put on face and pretend life was grand to others, but you can only lie to yourself for so long. . . . anyway, that was a rabbit being chased, sorry. . . back to journaling.  It dawned on me a few weeks back that my journaling pages were growing longer and longer (anything could be longer from day one. . . trust me, it wasn’t pretty, but it was real).  Then, the Lord started revealing Himself to me even more. . . . the very pages on my journal, the tablet of my heart, were being confirmed and loved on in the words of this book!  I said, (and I have goosebumps as I type and reflect on this!), “OH MY GOSH, HOW DID YOU DO THAT, LORD?!” 

Every single day, before I write, I ask the Lord to bring to mind the things I need to write about, to pray out.  He blows my mind.  Tears flood my eyes as I think of His mightiness, that He loves me SO much . . . so much it simply can not be put into words.  He loves you that much also . . . it’s simply indescribable. 

Yesterday’s devotional was on “holding your tongue.”  Definitely needed that one.  When I get my “feelings” hurt I instantly put up a wall and say hurtful things.  He amazingly clamped my lips shut and has helped me to process the hurt.  It was rather cool.

TODAYS devotional though, was overwhelming.

This is what it reads:

HOLD MY HAND, and walk joyously with Me through this day.  Together we will savor the pleasures and endure the difficulties it brings(this was for me).  Be on the lookout for everything I have prepared for you:  stunning scenery, bracing winds of adventure, cozy nooks for resting when you are weary, and much more.  I am your Guide, as well as your constant Companion.  I know every step of the journey ahead of you(and this. . .), all the way to heaven.

You don’t have to choose between staying close to Me and staying on course.  Since I am the Way, staying close to Me IS staying on course.  As you focus your thoughts on Me, I will guide you carefully along today’s journey.  Don’t worry about what is around the next bend (this was specifically for me).  Just concentrate on enjoying My Presence and staying in step with Me.

The scripture references were:

John 14:6, Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.

Colossians 4:2, “Devote yourselves in prayer, being watchful and thankful.

Now I can’t sit here and tell you the tears went away instantly.  In fact, I cried all morning and into the afternoon.  What I can tell you is, is that MY GOD is on EVERY step of THIS JOURNEY with ME!  He has NEVER left me.  HE NEVER WILL.  When I don’t understand, I have to have faith . . . because in that moment my faith is being strengthened. 

The Lord has recently given me an answer to my many “Why’s” in life.  (You know, we all ask that question from time to time, and if we listen after asking, He might just answer.)  What the Lord began telling me personally after asking “Why Lord?” was one word, “comfort.”  So I know, that whether I like a situation, whether it’s my fault or not, regardless. . . . I now tell myself, “someone is going to need comforting in this area and you are purifying me through this process Lord.  I need your help to see it through.” 

If I can be a comfort to someone else, or help encourage along the way, or share my story of hope and restoration in what HE has done in my life and my family’s life, then it is worth it; and for that, I’m OK.

Continuing to Walk in Victory,