For the last several months I have felt abandoned by my Lord.  I know for someone reading this from the outside, to read that is appalling.  It’s embarrassing to even admit it. 

I couldn’t go to Sunday School and definitely couldn’t go to church.  My hurt and anger radiated to a depth I had not experienced as a Christian before.  Music is the passion of my heart; I definitely couldn’t go and sing a song a be fake and pretend I was ok, so it was better to not even go.

I awoke the Sunday before last and this past Sunday with the Lord impressing it on my heart that I absolutely needed to be in Sunday School.  I got up, got the kids ready, and went.  Decided to stay for service, and am thankful I did. 

While I would like to sit here and tell you everything is fine, it’s not, but resolve is on it’s way.  The anger I was experiencing has turned in hurt.  I still can’t sing the songs of passion to my heart, and being in worship was tough yesterday. 

This morning while showering, as if the Lord was standing right with me (now that’s a scary thought!), He said to me the words of affirmation that I have been feeling deep within, “I will never leave you or forsake you.”  It was then I realized I didn’t know what the word forsake meant.

It means to give up (something formerly held dear). 

I am held dear to my Lord.  While I have to work through what I am dealing with with, He gave me the words of comfort my heart so needed this morning. 

Made me smile Smile