I have a memory screening today.  It is a four hour test.  For a couple of years I have been telling my doctor that I haven’t been able to make “A” connect to “B” and so forth.  This is not a constant thing, but comes and goes.

For many years I have been cooking, multiplying out recipes by fractions.  No problems as it was a part of my daily life.  I sat down one day to work on menus for a church I was cooking for, and I couldn’t do it.  I literally could not even remember the ratio of what to multiply and what to divide.

More recently, the scariest part for me, was not being able to tell someone my sons birthday.  That freaked me out.  BUT, finally my doctor would listen to what I was saying.

I saw a neurologist recently.  He was surprised to see that during an EEG from a year ago my brain was showing seizure activity.  He was even more surprised to find that it was not treated.  After much discussing, found out the side effects of a seizure runs parallel with what I have been complaining about for two years.  It also parallels symptoms of depression AND sleep apnea! 

I have recently been through a sleep study and found out I do have sleep apnea.  I have another appointment next week to sleep with a mask and see if that works.  I also have another EEG next week to see if I am still showing seizure activity in my brain.

Today’s test, however, has me a little “wigged” out.  I already know I’m a nut case, but I sure don’t want some doctor telling me that I am!  Funny as it may be, it scares me.  Today’s testing is an extension of the test that was done in the office a few weeks ago.  It is to find out what compartment of my brain is not working properly and to hopefully find out why.

I am pretty open about my life; some don’t agree with that, and that is OK.  I just want to always be real.  With that said, there have been many “stressors” in my life that I have not been able to share publicly in order to protect the ones I love.  That, on top of having a son with special needs, a teenager (God Bless HER!) and a four year old that is so smart (already counts to 30 and teaches her brother how to!) that I can’t keep up, AVON, and life in general, that my neurologist believes it is more than likely going to be all related to, yeap, you got it, the stress word.  I hate that.  As hard as I am trying to “deal” with life, I feel like this is a reflection of my faith.  While my “brain” knows that statement is not true, my “heart” does not believe that. 

So, that is where I am today.  I am a 38 year old woman who loves her Jesus and know HE has a perfect plan for my life and that HE can use any of my life’s circumstances and use it for good, just as HE has time and time again.

There is particular scripture passage that has continuously come to my mind this morning.  In fact, it was just recently quoted in Sunday School.

Read it with me,

2 Corinthians 4:15 – 18

Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen; but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Have a Jesus filled day, and continue to trust in Him.