A Very L-O-N-G Read….. Sorry.

It was confirmed, FINALLY, I have a stress fracture.  I am in a boot and being referred to seeing an Orthopedic doctor. I have been told to stay off it as much as possible until I see the Orthopedic doctor.  Chris and I are working on my schedule to see when he can take off to help me deliver the remainder of this weeks AVON orders.  I can not drive as it is my right foot that is injured.

Two weeks ago, my seventeen year old daughter was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia.  Finally we know what is and has been going on with her for about three years now.  Seems hard to believe a seventeen year old could suffer like this, but she does.  She’s just glad to have a name too it and know there really is something wrong and that it’s not all in her head!

During the exam, the doctor asked who in our family has it.  I told her, "I’ve been complaining of these symptoms for nearly 10 years;" but was told I was ‘depressed’ and prescribed an anti-depressant.  She asked me to come in and see her, which I did last week.  She said I not only have Fibromyalgia, but she ran 8 vials of blood work to rule out many other things.  One in particular she was concerned with is Rheumatoid Arthritis.  I’m believing these results will be negative and I will learn how to handle what I have to handle.  Just knowing that there is something wrong is half the battle.  All these years I’ve thought I was really crazy…. of course, that would depend on who you asked though! 

One big challenge is my obvious weight problem.  I’ve struggled with it for years.  Honestly, I have so much on my plate with tending to family member appointments, finances, Christopher’s Occupational Therapy and the list could go on and on, that I don’t and haven’t wanted to do anything about it.  I am praying that the Lord would make me want to make a change, that He would change my heart and that His desire would be my desire to get healthy.  This also, while Kayla is skin and bone, would help her tremendously….. all of us.

Christopher has just completed his I.Q. testing.  We get those results in just a few weeks.  Christopher has been diagnosed with a Sensory Disorder, ADHD, OCD and possibly Tourettes Syndrome; however, further testing will be done on the Tourettes to make sure it is not a side effect of his medications.  Christopher is sleeping much better on a night time medication also!  Huge Praise as he was up till 10 and 11 each night and then up and down all night long! 

Christopher is also playing UpWard Soccer at Olive.  I’ll post pictures in a few days.  Kaitlyn tried, but she was under the age requirements and since Chris was the coach, he was hoping she would do OK.  Instead, we bought her a cheap $2 pair of pom-poms and she is now cheering for the team! 

Kayla, other than the Fibromyalgia and some reoccurring headaches, is doing OK.  With all that is on my plate, she is going to either be going to PJC Adult High or Pine Forrest High School for her senior year.  Actually, she will be tested to find out where she will be placed.  Our hopes are that she has learned what should have been learned in earlier years and that once she starts testing everything will just fall in place.  She has to have an outside life outside of home.  She just has to.

Through all these past few months, I know I haven’t blogged and I know I have lost a lot of readers.  While that makes my heart sad, I also know I had to take care of me, of my family.  If I can’t take care of the home-front, then I’m not doing anybody else any good. 

There is something, though, that the Lord showed me recently that I would like to share with you.  I turned 38 recently.  In 38 years I have never taken care of my skin.  My face was washed with soap and water or sometimes just water.  I never moisturized, nothing.  I started taking care of my skin a few months back.  Once I started the cleansing process, I started breaking out!  You would have thought I hit puberty!!!  It was ridiculous.  At first I thought I was having an allergic reaction to the cleansers, but was advised to give it a few more days and see what happens.  I did just that.  Sure enough, after a few more days, there weren’t as many pimples on my face, a few more days later, MORE came up!  Then it started clearing up again.  During one of my cleansing moments, the Lord gave me a beautiful visual.  He said to me, "Stacey, all these years you’ve had all these impurities in your skin an you never knew it because you couldn’t see them.  Just as it takes time to get all these little impurities out, so it is with the Christian walk."  He then said, "If I showed you all you shouldn’t be doing at one time, or even blessed you with all I want to bless you with, you would give up.  As you grow in Christ, I am able to show you things, the hidden sins of your heart." 

Wow.  Isn’t that something.  I was reminded of that visual just this past Sunday in Sunday School.  We were learning more about Psalm 51.  One of my favorites.  I found myself wondering if at first David was just going through the motions of his prayer of forgiveness; but then, the more He prayed, the more the Holy Spirit convicted, the more the Holy Spirit showed David of the err of his ways.

This past Sunday the teacher also had us read aloud another translation of Psalm 51.  It reminded me of a Prayer that I wrote (when I was in the middle of writing my book that I still haven’t done anything with) that I took straight from Psalm 51. 

I know this has been a long read, but just had it on my heart to finally let ya’ll know what has been going on in the home front.  I am thankful today for my Jesus.  I sure don’t know how I would be surviving these last few months with out Him! 

Prayer of Restoration

Taken from Psalm 51

Oh Father be gracious and merciful to me according to your faithfulness and compassion. Forgive me Lord where I fall short and fail you. Thank You for cleansing me Lord from my sin, thank You for remembering them no more, for throwing them as far as the east is to the west and unto the depths of the sea. I know what I did was wrong Lord, I am filled with remorse. I know I have hurt You Lord, I know I have sinned against You and only You. I know I deserve Your wrath and condemnation, but Your word tells me of your grace and mercy, that you are a loving God, a forgiving God and that in You I can have inner peace that only comes from You. Father search my heart and cleanse me, teach me wisdom Lord. Cleanse me so that I might be whiter than snow so that I can rejoice in Your healing. Create a clean heart for me Lord and renew my spirit. Don’t banish me from your presence Lord. Restore the Joy of Your salvation Lord, remind me of the joy that I had as a new creation, remind me of the miracles You have performed in my life, remind me of the freshness that comes from only You Lord! Take this guilt away from me Lord, I don’t want it, I want freedom Lord. Thank you Father for your forgiveness, I will testify to others what you have done if my life, I will praise you Father. Keep me humble and pure I pray, rejoicing in You Lord until your return, Amen (so be it).

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