That’s the only part of the song I know….if you don’t know those words then my title is worthless. My brain cells are so fried I can’t even tell you who sings the song. Sorry. Maybe my husband who knows all kinds of stuff like that will know and post a comment?
I was reading today’s devotional from Proverbs31 Ministry. Rachel’s devotion was on wisdom and the usefulness of Proverbs. Hit home. I used to use Proverbs as a daily “get go” for my quiet time with the Lord. This morning, in reading her devotion, it urged me to take a look back. One thing I saw written throughout the pages of my Bible was my name scratched through in certain places. For example, in Proverbs 5 and verse 1. “My son, pay attention.” I put, “Stacey, pay attention!” My Bible is personal. It is my personal guide, road map, compass. It is a tool given to me to teach me and point me in the right direction. So, why don’t I use it like I used to? What has happened that I chose to take my own course? Is it arrogance, is it fear, laziness even…ouch. I would hate to admit any of the above, but what else is one to think? Not using my Bible as my daily road map to life is like not using a map in a town I know nothing about. It’s crazy!
Last night, I laid in bed until well after midnight. The kids seemed to be restless and crying, Kayla was hurting…it was just a long night; but as I laid in bed I remembered a time that I prayed, “Lord, restore to me the joy of your salvation.” When I prayed that I said I would never waiver again…but I did. Why? Does anyone else do this? I think it’s in Roman’s where Paul says, “I know what to do, but I don’t do it…” It’s like with my eating…last year I lost 36lbs. Last year, I also gained it all back. Insanity! My heart yearns for total surrender of eating out of stress, or hurt, or even boredom (is that a word?), but I can’t seem to get the motivation and the will power to start all over again.
I don’t know how to, well, I know what to do, but I don’t know how to make my mind up to “just do it.” I know that sounds crazy, I just can’t. I don’t know how to describe it. Anyway, I say all that and rambled on to say, I am picking up my road map, right now and reading the direction for my life for this very day. I am taking one day at a time, one circumstance at a time. While my heart wants this, and my head is boggled by the thoughts, I know my Jesus knows my heart and knows that I yearn to be healthy, physically, but most importantly, spiritually.
Sorry for rambling today, just a lot came to my mind as I started typing. I so want to get back to writing my book, so please pray for me about this. I know the Lord’s timing is everything, and there are some things going on I can’t share, but I need the fog in my brain to go…I need my clarity back.