I’m Seeking, I’m Seeking….But I Can’t Find You!

These last few days have been trying. I am weary. My youngest is sick now, Christopher missed three days of school from being sick, I have had a headache for days and I have a sinus infection. Every time I do and try the further back I get shoved. I try and try but every effort just fails…I just don’t understand. We got just about everything ready for our garage sale just to find out we had rain coming Thursday and Friday. We covered everything up we could with tarps. We had no idea we would have the wind we did. The tarps came off. All the electrical stuff is ruined, the clothes, sheets, blankets and linens are soaked. Do I spend my money to wash and dry it all knowing it probably won’t sell and I wouldn’t make enough to pay for doing so? The purpose of this garage sale was to go towards an outrageous electric bill…. not to make it higher and spend more money on my water! Oh this is insane. You know, I know Jesus was tested in every way we are, but I sure would like to know what the purpose is on this and just how He would have handled this situation. I know He didn’t have a roof over His head, I know He didn’t have a wife and kids and I know He didn’t worry about paying bills, buying clothes because they simply are worn slap out or just don’t fit any more, and I know what the Bible says, Matthew 6:33, “Seek first His kingdom and all these things will be provided.” Well, I’ve been seeking, and seeking and doing and doing, and it’s not working. I’m really overwhelmed here and I am really struggling. My family order is out of wack, nothing is going right. My heart is heavy and angry. I can’t even pray; seems too hypocritical.

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